There’s another scandal to overcome in this episode, as the lovable, yet incompetent staff let it out that they’re trying to kill Selina’s Families First bill – while the president lays in bed nearly incapacitated, and at times, delirious, with the flu.
It all begins when Gary (with Ben’s permission) arranges a “secret” meeting with Dan and Amy at what appears to be a Color Me Mine to discuss the Families First bill, and how Selina wants it voted down – though he insists she has no idea he’s even having the meeting.
Back at the White House, discussion of the plan is getting around, and no one is doing anything to hide it from Mike – the press secretary – who’s seriously starting to freak out, because what he doesn’t know, he doesn’t have to lie about. But he’s starting to know a lot…
Bill tries to assure him: ‘We’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing – we’re just doing it badly.” Thought it doesn’t really seem to be helping.
Meanwhile, Kent and Ben forgot to cross-check their lists of Congressmen that needed swaying, and ended up accidentally sending both their “A team” – Dan and Amy – and their incompetent backup squad – Richard and Jonah – to the same congressman, Moyse.
And after a seemingly easy meeting, Dan botches everything by handing over some numbers that “spoiler alert: don’t add up”… except unfortunately they do – to a conspiracy from the Meyer presidency, seeing as he had the same numbers that Jonah and Richard did.
Amy was as stoic and stone-faced as always, quick on her feet to save the moment. However, cocky and confident Dan, who is always quick to brag about his supremacy immediately gave away the plot with his ghost faced reaction to the accusation, causing the politician to turn his must-desired “no” to a “yes.”
Selina is trying to continue on as normal – except of course, the fact that she’s running the country out of her bedroom – which sends Gary into a tailspin as he’s trying to keep her rested. She tries to reassure her worrying staff as she notes that everything’s fine and she’ll “sleep when I’m dead,” though quickly adds: “in about an hour.”
After falling asleep on her staff, she awakes when they all begin fighting over the Moyle-Familes First drama, with Gary practically exploding: “Ben’s paying Dan and Amy to lobby against the bill and now there’s a cash trail and we’re all incriminated, but you’re not … oh my god, now you are!”
Then it gets even worse as it’s revealed that Moyse wasn’t going to keep quiet about his suspicions regarding the Families First lobbying.
Everyman, Mr. Charming Tom James shows his edge in this episode as he bosses Ben around throughout in an effort to get the bill voted down, without actually being a part of the scandal.
It all comes to a head when their henchman (actually: Dan and Amy; only think they’re helping: Jonah and Richard) lose Congressman Pierce – their last chance – and Ben has to apologize to the President, before it’s announced that Moyse believes (which is in fact that case) that she hired lobbyists to kill the bill.
Everyone starts screaming at each other and Tom steps up, shouting: “Everyone shut your fucking holes.The president is not sick, you guys are. You’re parasites. You’re like an infestation of mediocrity. I don’t care if you’re a 1950s radio broadcaster [pointing to Bill], you’re a Fozzy Bear that’s been ripped up and used to smuggle heroin [gestures at Mike], a Nazi doctor [Kent]. I don’t even know what the fuck you are [Gary]. This is not about serving yourselves. This is about serving the president. So let’s do that, shall we?”
After a short chase – from Pierce’s mother’s bedside at the hospital to a bookstore – Amy and Dan bring Congressman Pierce in to the White House to speak with Selina – though to be fair, Tom, Mike, and Gary do all the talking.
The sickly POTUS even falls asleep during the meeting, forcing Gary to vamp as Pierce eagerly waits to see which foreign city he’ll now be ambassador for – Paris, even though a lucid Selina had nixed that idea.
Following his exit – and after Selina wakes up again – Mike jokes: “You literally could have said anything. For a moment, Gary was the most powerful person in the world.” Selina – down, but not out, quips, at Gary: “That’s hilarious. Get me some soup.”
Though it seems that all of the struggles have paid off, as Pierce follows through and the team wins by losing, as the Families First bill is voted down. Of course, it seems Moyse hasn’t dropped his investigation, as following a hilarious montage of staffers suffering Selina’s newfound passion for voice memos, the bumbling crew is seen being sworn in to testify. The strugglebus continues on…
“I don’t even paint my own nails, Gary, a Vietnamese lady does that. Talk or we leave.” – Amy, when Gary told her to paint something to look less suspicious
“You know at least three of these kids are probably mine.” – Dan, scanning the room at a crafts shop
“Don’t worry, Mike. We have a team of our worst people on this.” – Bill, referring to Jonah and Richard as they pushed for votes on the Families First bill
“You’re the best the White House has to offer – two giant children in their dad’s suits?” – Moyse
“I feel like I’m captain of the Titanic and I carved out the iceberg myself.” – Selina
“Oh god. She’s probably gonna die just to spite me, that evil bitch.” – Selina, when Sue reveals Amy, et. al. are waiting at the hospital for Pierce, who’s visiting with his sick mother
“Find Pierce. Call NASA. They’ve gotta have a satellite that can pinpoint a moron.” – Selina
“I wouldn’t ask you to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. And while that isn’t true, find some comfort in it.” – Ben, to Mike as he’s faced with denying any involvement in the lobbying scandal
Until next time,